The Lair of the Monkey

Well, here we are.  We’re coming to the end of 2006.  In time honoured tradition (and without the crap that came with that TV travesty of the Golden Joystick Awards) lets take a look at which games have won the coveted LOTM Awards:

Game of the Year:

Yes, of course Gears of War took it.  CJ and I can attest that this is an absolutely incredible co-op game.  I doubt that I’d have put it here if it weren’t for the fact that every time it has been loaded up it has been with at least one other play (at one point it was with 3!).

Most Hyped of the Year:

Zelda wins hands down on this one.  Yes, it’s a good game.  Is it though a revelation?  The best thing ever?  No.  In fact, in terms of a revelation, or even a REVOLUTION I’d say that Wii Sports is more successful.

Hardware of the Year:

It had to really go to the Wii didn’t it?  Still, it has got a completely crap name.  On the other hand a small form factor, a great control method and a friendly feel makes it Hardware of the Year.  Lucky the award isn’t for launch lineup though…

Best PC Game:

I won’t say too much about Oblivion as I have talked about it a ton, but I will say that it’s definitely best of the best this year on the PC.  Frankly it was so much fun I think I’ll keep going back over and over. (more…)

This just proves how idiotic Americans can be - and surprisingly I think we’re talking about adults here rather than kids.  I was waiting in the lobby waiting for a game to start on Gears of War.  It was the standard 4 vs 4 matchup.  A new guy joined, but we still were missing a couple of players.  Anyway, this new guy had a strange Gamertag, but still nothing too unusual.  Then it began.  For the purpose of this transcription all names have been changed.  This is NOT suitable for children as I have kept the original language they used.

COG P1:  Wow dude, what’s with your name?  That is sooooooo lame.
New Player:  What’s your problem?
COG P1:  What do you mean?  It’s totally faggy man.  Are you like a gay?  Do you like cock?
New Player:  Why are you guys all playing as the black guy?  I bet you’re all white.
COG P1:  You’re just jealous you’re on the locust team, you’re a total fag, do you like to have ??? on your mouth?
New Player:  What the fuck?  What’s your problem?  Fuck you.  Your gamer name is lame, you picked the same name as a dude in the game and added [an attack name] to it.
COG P1:  Screw you man, you’re just a complete gay.  Fag.
COG P2:  Yeah man, tell him.  What a gay.

So there we are, can you believe that?  It was a genuinely disturbing experience for me.  Live is a weird space, it’s actually incredibly intimate when you’re sitting there waiting for a game to start.  I had a quite interesting conversation after this with someone (another American I hasten to add) on the current crop of consoles.  However, this didn’t appease me.  I was shocked.

So lets get this right.  This second guy (who had an excellent Gamerscore btw) was being discriminated against because of his name.  His chosen game name - his screen name.  I can tell you now it wasn’t offensive in any way, and made about as much sense as every other name you see out there.  It was genuine madness.  I guess what was most telling about all of this was that the ‘gay’ insult was flowing.  Maybe we’re more open minded in the UK, but that was their insult.  Maybe I have it totally wrong and these guys were actually all fourteen or something.  Either way, it was a completely ‘lame’ Live experience guys.  Come on, grow up.  Play the game, chat, don’t be idiots.

Now these two things aren’t related, but they’re both quite interesing.  First, let’s take a look at some girls who play games.  Game Lemons has an excellent on article on the hottest ladies who are happy to slam joypads (as it were) with you, but don’t be surprised if they whup your ass.  For the record, Fraggety Ann shocked me.  How in the hell does she find time to play games, be good at them and look that good..?

For the second link of this evening, this picture says it all:

Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite happy with my 360.  However, if I hever have to ring Customer Service and it’s anything like the description by Rothbart, I will actually cry tears of blood.  There’s nothing worse than bad customer service and I’ve suffered some bad ones in my time.  I won’t name them here as I haven’t had too much trouble with the games industry, but I hope that Rothbart here has had an isolated experience…

Well I’ve finally managed some more progress with Fiona, though I’m a little concerned at the low stat bonuses I seem to be getting.  Not very impressive.  To even up the score a bit I’m going to sack (as in raid then nick stuff) a few Oblivion Gates and deliberately not level up to keep the enemies at their current difficulty.

Right now I’m being frustrated by the Mankor Camoran bit.  After learning secrets from the Mysterium Xarxes, the secret temple is revealed (oh god, how much like bad fanfic does that read - ed).  Sadly Jauffrey - in his idiocy - is quite happy to send just me rather than all the Blades.  On the other hand, there’s an ace daikatana at the Cloud Ruler temple just waiting to be nicked.  However, I wouldn’t recommend their armour, it’s not very good.

Anyway, back to Mankor.  This quest is a bit annoying in that there’s a couple of ways to do it, but both of them are quite difficult.  One choice is to storm it and attack the guy on the door, but then you still have to fight everyone in there.  The other choice is to play along with the game and pretend you’re a new initiate and kill the sacrifice after Mankor has done his ritual.

The only problem I have with the first method is that it’s very hard.  The problem with the second method is that I’m trying to make this character have a completely good ‘alignment’/score, which means not killing the sacrifice.  However if you refuse, the 6 or 8 other temple followers attack you, and you’ve got none of your kit to fight them.  Unless you’re a specialist mage this quickly becomes a chore as you die over and over.

Barring cheating and hacking the console, I’m left with the option of a restart from the beginning of the temple and trying to storm it, or trying to target the person with the key and then running like hell.  I think it’ll have to be the former I’m afraid, as Fiona Tanner doesn’t really do sneaking…

Another curious rend I’ve seen in Oblivion recently (or rather on youtube) is horse tipping.  That is, taking your horse up a mountain (apparently being in the buff is de rigueur for this) then pelting down said mountain before throwing yourself off and watching the horse catapult to its death.  Definitely amusing, and you can have a go yourself - just make sure to save before you do.  Well I’m off to do some storming.  Have fun dears!

More on the Wii - essentially I think it’s a great shame that Wii Sports was not expanded upon.  As a concept it’s great, but Monkey Ball offers pretty much a similar set of games, and the main game too.  Nonethless, they are brilliant, each and every one of them.  I’m especially good at the Baseball, but my favourite is the golf.  There’s just something about the Wiimote that lends itself really well to this particular game.  Go and play it if you haven’t already, it’s a must.

Well, I finally had a blast on the Wii - I must say I was very impressed. Lets cut to the chase though - it was the controls of the minigames that showed the most potential. I had a go of Zelda, Wii Play and Wii Sports, and frankly Zelda was a bit of a let down. It looked about as good as most GameCube games and frankly compared to something like Ninja Gaiden on the original Xbox the graphics were pretty damn poor. It seemed inventive enough though, with some interesting puzzles, if still containing the childlike elements which which Nintendo is known for.

Wii Sports was just brilliant - most of the games were spot on. The one that really caught my imagination though was the golf game. You really did have to treat it like golf in real life, measuring up your swing, checking the angle and the lay of the land etc, then taking your shot with the strength depending on the speed with which you swing. Baseball was also dramatically fun, though I was a little bit dissappointed that we kept getting a draw in it. Wii Play seemed to be the most gimmicky of the lot, with not too much happening in it apart from the cool fishing game. It was there mostly I think for people to get a second controller.

I’m still interested in playing Red Steel as I’d like to see how the shooter mechanics work - however some of the reviews have been less than glowing for it. Overall for the Wii now that I’ve held one I do quite fancy getting one, though given the size of the thing the price tag of £180 seems a little high to me. It still feels like a console that is best suited for some party games rather than a serious hardcore gaming session - but that’s just my two cents. Playing Monkey Ball on the Wii I’m sure would be a massive draw, and if as good as they say could persuade me to get one instantly but no-one I know has it yet.

On a more general note for the Wii: if game production values (mostly centered around graphics) have gone up, why have the Wii games been priced at the same level as the Xbox360 games? Bearing in mind that development of Wii games is pretty similar to the GameCube in terms of architecture and power and this equation simply does not make sense. £30 at a push, but £40 or more? Well I’d never pay that for a game anyway, so I guess that’s just me being difficult…

Well, that title is a lie to be honest.  This Christmas, due to moving, I got no games for Christmas, or even had the opportunity to play any my current crop.  On the other hand though I should be hammering Wii Play, Wii Sports and Zelda tomorrow on the Wii.

Tonight, I’ll be online on Gears of War (gamertag: blackvv) so you’re welcome to find me if you like.  I’ll be the guy being blown to crap all the time as I’m pretty useless at the online component.  Though I haven’t played much today, a few days ago I did have the pleasure of playing the Lost Planet demo.  All I can say is that game is going to be brilliant.

More generally, I have more Gamerscore Points for getting further on Test Drive Unlimited.  I’ve done more than 400 miles on the island of Oahu and I’ve got some nifty cars to boot.  I just really want to get a Lambo and another house now!

From all the team at LOTM, may we wish you all a very happy Christmas.  Personally from Mr Butterscotch:

I hope that you all have a great Christmas, and that Santa brings you all the best electronic he can lay his hands on (which might not be a Wii).  As for the rest of you, enjoy your football or whatever it is you’re into.  Don’t stay up too late, don’t drink and drive, and make sure to NOT leave your 360 on.  Those things eat a lot of juice!  Anyway I’m off to the Bahamas (pub) followed by a drive around the Island (play on Test Drive Unlimited) so don’t stay up waiting for an update (it might be next week).  Well enjoy, and a Merry Christmas to you all, whatever your pleasure!

Go take a look over at The Average Gamer.  From their article, evidently there are still far more boys playing with their Wii (sorry, don’t blame me though, go shoot Nintendo) than there are females.  Surprise surprise.  As I pointed out in the comments however, I have a feeling that the guy who gets a Wii will set it up and put on his Mii, only for his mother/sister etc to play with his Mii on his Wii (oh Nintendo I love you - not).  Being honest, I really can see the Wii drawing a more varied audience - but I can’t see me sitting down with one for hours.  It still looks more like something you’d drag out when having a few beers - much like those damn bongos I am stuck with!  Damn their eyes!

While I was heading back to the car park the other evening, everything was shrouded in a thick fog.  Obviously we’re having problems with flights, but I’ve got fog lights on the car.  Anyway, the point is that the fog looked amazing.  It was almost a real life version of Silent Hill - it was very creepy!
This brings me to the crux of this argument.  For those of you who say that graphics don’t matter - lets be honest - that’s a load of crap.  Graphics don’t matter - for some games.  Stuff like Hexic HD lives in a new space made for lower budget, lower priced games.  They don’t need massively impressive visuals.  Top end games do, or we’d still all be playing Hungry Horace.

Coming back to that fog - I thought that when all games look that good; graphics won’t matter as much, because uniformly they’ll all look incredible.  We might have to wait years for each game (as dev times continue upward), but there’ll be visuals beyond compare.  Anyway, graphics are important because of one main issue, and a few other minor ones.

Good graphics create atmosphere.  Creating a good (commercially and critically) videogame is a hugely difficult feat.  Giving it soul is even harder.  A PC game called Nocturne had great atmosphere because of the visuals, which were dark, foreboding and incredibly system intensive.  Doom III also set a bar, though some argued it was too dark.  Silent Hill was marvellous on the original Playstation, but my mouth waters at the prospect of a next gen remake.  Visuals, whether people like it or not, are integral to the experience of gaming.  Humans are naturally led by the strong sense they read the world by - sight.  As we see new techniques in film, so we will in games.  This is a naturally progression of the industry.

Games are about story, gameplay and interactivity.  All the rest of the elements (graphics, sound, physical hardware etc) build on these three things.  Visuals (whether stylised or as realistic as possible) tell stories in a certain way.  Whether naysayers agree, it is a form of art.  Atmosphere evokes feeling, just as seeing that fog did.  Some games offer just that - a fun entertaining distraction - but those that are emotive deliver a lasting impression.  This gives us a chance to enjoy virtual worlds that feel truly alive with experience.