The Lair of the Monkey

Well I’ve finally managed some more progress with Fiona, though I’m a little concerned at the low stat bonuses I seem to be getting.  Not very impressive.  To even up the score a bit I’m going to sack (as in raid then nick stuff) a few Oblivion Gates and deliberately not level up to keep the enemies at their current difficulty.

Right now I’m being frustrated by the Mankor Camoran bit.  After learning secrets from the Mysterium Xarxes, the secret temple is revealed (oh god, how much like bad fanfic does that read - ed).  Sadly Jauffrey - in his idiocy - is quite happy to send just me rather than all the Blades.  On the other hand, there’s an ace daikatana at the Cloud Ruler temple just waiting to be nicked.  However, I wouldn’t recommend their armour, it’s not very good.

Anyway, back to Mankor.  This quest is a bit annoying in that there’s a couple of ways to do it, but both of them are quite difficult.  One choice is to storm it and attack the guy on the door, but then you still have to fight everyone in there.  The other choice is to play along with the game and pretend you’re a new initiate and kill the sacrifice after Mankor has done his ritual.

The only problem I have with the first method is that it’s very hard.  The problem with the second method is that I’m trying to make this character have a completely good ‘alignment’/score, which means not killing the sacrifice.  However if you refuse, the 6 or 8 other temple followers attack you, and you’ve got none of your kit to fight them.  Unless you’re a specialist mage this quickly becomes a chore as you die over and over.

Barring cheating and hacking the console, I’m left with the option of a restart from the beginning of the temple and trying to storm it, or trying to target the person with the key and then running like hell.  I think it’ll have to be the former I’m afraid, as Fiona Tanner doesn’t really do sneaking…

Another curious rend I’ve seen in Oblivion recently (or rather on youtube) is horse tipping.  That is, taking your horse up a mountain (apparently being in the buff is de rigueur for this) then pelting down said mountain before throwing yourself off and watching the horse catapult to its death.  Definitely amusing, and you can have a go yourself - just make sure to save before you do.  Well I’m off to do some storming.  Have fun dears!

I was in my local Asda, and I couldn’t believe what I saw.  At first though I thought it was a random bunch of people randomly sitting down, like some sort of mutual, collective-unconscious appeal of such a group act.  Seemingly no such deep psychological involvement was neccessary however, as they were in fact waiting for a Wii (oh god, I’ll never get tired of that - ed).  Seriously though, there were like ten people, and that meant they had a 4 hour wait at that point.  What if they needed the toilet and the dude in front/behind didn’t keep their place?  What if they got too cold?  Too hungry?  Thirsty?

Frankly, as much as I love my games, I couldn’t ever do that.  I was in a way a little ashamed to be a gamer.  It reminded me a bit of when I saw Casino Royale - I was ashamed to be there on opening weekend when I saw the behaviour of others - 2 car crashes, people fighting, swearing etc - perhaps Bond brings out the worst in people.  Then again, perhaps I should hold my head up high, for it’s thanks to those gamers in the queue there that we get a name for ourselves, being bold, brash and absolutely dedicated to the cause of having electronic entertainment, even at the cost of their own comfort.

So fans out there, waiting in line, I salute you.  Especially those of you in Asda.  Frankly, in typically British fashion I almost joined the queue just to see what it was about.  Imagine if I had - I would have been in for a completely unexpected wait for almost five hours.  Do people obsess over other things?  Yes.  We all have our interests and I was overly harsh.  In fact, I could always go to sleep now and then drive back up there at 12 to see if they have any left…

Well, I’m really cracking on with Fiona now.  She’s much harder than she was, coming in at level 4 already.  She’s levelling nicely, but not too fast.  Remember, the monsters tend to stay 1 level behind you, so don’t gallop through as you need to make sure you have the kit to combat them as well when it puts you into a group battle situation.  To date, I have become the hero of Kvatch, found some Daedric worshippers (which I haven’t visited yet) but mainly I’ve been working my way through the Fighters Guild.  It’s also been cool to have enough magic points to cast a good bunch of spells before running out.

In general, I’m really appreciating having a horse (I lost the last one when I stole another) to just wander around the world with.  Remember, you can discover places this way that you wouldn’t otherwise find.  On a similar note, if you want to get more kit, no doubt some of the soldiers you stormed Kvatch with will have died.  Go back repeatedly to collect the stuff on their bodies, and sell it.  You can make a reasonable amount of gold this way.

I am looking forward to pushing on with the main story, as I’ve been through all of this so far the first time.  Soon though, I’ll be further in than before, and I guess that’s when it’ll get really interesting.  Nothing too funny this time unfortunately, however I’ll try to do more mad things next time I play.

Well, Fiona Tanner is now made - and what a beaut she is, just look at her!

Yes, I’ve finally gotten around to getting a few pics of my new character, and it’s obvious she’s much tougher than… erm… what’s his name.  Anyway, she’s hard as nails.  I can’t believe how much difference it makes to be skilled in magic and more importantly weapons.  Fiona is handy with a sword and a shield, as she’s a Spellsword.  This also means she can fry bad guys with some cool spells.  I made her a dark elf too so I could play with the ancestor spirit.  Not much fun, but cool.  One of the weird things I’ve done so far is trying to outrun it - perfectly possible so keep an eye out if you’re relying on it keeping you alive!

One of the other weird things I’ve been doing now that I’ve escaped from that first dungeon is trying to woo the male characters by wandering around half naked.  Sadly it seems to have little to no effect, and the stroppy people of Cyrodil just wander off as if I’m fully clothed.  I’ve also taken to having a ‘town outfit’ consisting of a silk top and a brown skirt, very fetching as any lady will tell you!  Well anyway, here’s my combat outfit…

Yes, it’s nice and small so all of you who are younger aren’t scarred for life looking at a bikini clad female game character.  Anyway, returning back to the adventures… The first port of call was selling all of the junk that Jauffrey tries to give you.  I’ve decided to mostly stay away from melee weapons such as bows this time round, and instead concentrating on my magic.  I guess it’s realistic but it would sure make the game easier if I could carry as much as I want.  Regardless, I took my horse on a run around a few hills, discovering a few new towers etc on the way.

One of the good things about my previous character was that he could withstand a pretty decent fall, as his acrobatics skill was very high.  Not so with poor Fiona.  I dragged her up to the top of a tower, pressed ‘r’ to put it into third person view, and then let her fly off the top of the parapet.  Sadly she plummeted like a stone, before smashing on the ground below.  I was aiming for the horse, though sadly I was a little bit off.  I can’t decide whether to initiate her into the blades or not - but I probably won’t.  I’m going to instead aim to complete the mages guild things, as I failed to do so last time.  I’ve got off to a cracking start with alchemy though, making some truly rubbish potions such as ‘5 extra fatigue for 3 seconds’ or the slightly better (but not much) poison variant of said potion.

Finally, I’m aiming to complete it this time round, but not without doing some quirky things to try and generally annoy people in the world of Cyrodil (is that possible when they’re virtual?), so I’ve taken to leaving a pair of shoes outside each Castle - no-one seems to have fallen yet, oh well.  Update to follow, I’m off now to go and jump off another tower whilst trying to land in the saddle!

Well, this was going to be a mammoth update, but unfortunately my digital camera has no batteries and… well… I actually stopped playing Oblivion!  How can this happen!?!  I find myself thinking more and more about video games and yet having less and less time to play them, now that I’m working more and more and studying again.  What a nightmare.  Or is it?  Actually, I’ve come to the conclusion that it has not been a nightmare at all, and that Oblivion is the answer.  Let me tell you how.

Oblivion is a game whereby you have a whole world, which is pretty interactive, in which to do whatever you like.  To a point.  You can be the hero of Cyrodil if you like - or be an evil tw!t and join the Dark Brotherhood (for those of you who keep searching and end up here, to join the DB simply kill someone and they’ll visit you provided you get the prompt of ‘a mysterious person saw the killing’ or similar).  This open ended play allows for so much variation that it drew me back.  Basically, it’s a tailored game experience.  I decided to make a new character, and play how I wanted.

My new character is called Fiona Tanner - and she’s going to be one hell of a warrior.  Or something.  I haven’t really decided yet, as I’ve only sketched it out in my mind.  However, she’s going to be known for wandering the lands, wearing a different outfit at every city, as well as randomly leaving a trail of arrows behind her wherever she walks.  That should scare those evil cultists!  I’m also hoping to get a levitation spell and leave weird things on the roof of each building I enter - though obviously that’s going to be in the future.  Well, that’s the update for this week.  With a bit of luck I should actually have some pics for you next time!  Ta-ta for now, I’m off to Cyrodil to create Fiona…

PS: An oddity in Oblivion is definitely the horses.  Steal one, and your ‘usual’ horse apparently goes walkies.  Where does it go?  I’m not sure, I never found out.  However a friend of mine got a certain horse you get from the Dark Brotherhood at a certain juncture in the game.  He found that back where he got it after stealing another.  So, perhaps they return to their homeland to graze?  Who knows…

It will come as a shock to some of you, and not to others, that my ‘Adventures In’ series are inspired by the one and only Steve Hill’s Neverquest.  He’s a gem, he really is.  Anyway, here’s another one of his over at Computer and Video Games.  Great site guys, keep up the good work.  Oh and Steve, stop looking for virtual kicks!

I’ve played Guild Wars for a long time now, which makes it really very odd that I haven’t done an ‘Adventures In…’ for it.  So then, without further ado, here we are.  Lets start by saying I have a rather barmy character called Arturius Greenwood - who from time to time will stop, and repeatedly walk over the same terrain, getting no further forward.  Nope, not a game error but in fact the painful feeling when you have lag over the game, or over wireless.  Definitely funny the first time, incredibly frustrating the fifth.

Anyway, there I was, happily wandering about, when I noticed something rather odd going on.  Two characters were stripping, their armour disappearing in what can only be described as a bizarre fashion statement - their clothes literally being there one second, and not the next.  No, this was not more odd lag, but rather a case of two characters about to give it cyber.  Little did I know the ‘female’ was going to type /sit and the male was going to walk into her, FOR FIVE MINUTES!

Lets stop and think about this for a second.  The engine isn’t bad, but what sort of gratification is anyone getting from this?  Or are they not, and that, in fact is the joke in some sort of post-modern, self-referential ironic joke aimed at the Internet and the proliferation of porn thereon?  Frankly, I have no idea, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.  Cyber-sexual interaction?  In a video game? Hmmmm.

So anyway, there I was fighting the Charr with CJ, who has since left his character in the early stages - though hopefully soon to return.  I kept thinking ‘blimey, the scenery is quite nice round here’ which it was.  However, this made me depressed when I found out I’d been playing Guild Wars for two hours, admiring some made up trees which were in fact a lot of clever ones and zeros.  Don’t think that has stopped me from getting to level 20 though…

Sponsored link: Go shopping at the Amazon store for LOTM, or CDWOW for cheap music and DVDs.

This is a somewhat whirlwind update, primarily aimed at just showing you my character:

As you can see, he’s a rather lovely looking chap with a great line in light armour and a brilliant bow to match.  I scavenged a better bow but couldn’t be bothered to cure the vampirism that also befell me, so one load later and I was miles back in the game.  Naturally peeved, I continued anyway.  I saw some funny stuff, such as being trapped between a wardrobe and a desk, but that didn’t deter me, I decided to go onwards with the main quest!

I did actually manage to do a bit of it, even though my character is apparently a bit pants at everthing except jumping, running and hiding.  Naturally this makes some of the combat rather tough - I CANNOT WAIT to get repeatedly slain by the Daedra Princes in the Oblivion Gates I must say! - but it’s fun nonetheless.  CJ is also playing Oblivion, and he’s hacked the console to boost some stuff.  He did this primarly as he became a guild master of the mages and yet could barely cast any spells.  Ah well!  I’ve used one console hack so far, and that was simply to get past the first gate.  My blade skill is so poor it’s not funny and I ran out of arrows.

Generally speaking after doing a bit of the main quest (I won’t spoil it but I have become a Blade) I’ve then went on a jaunt around the cities of Cyrodil and and took a wander around the outskirts, finding new dungeons etc.  I’ve been a rather hapless adventurer so far, what with falling down crevices and getting into fights with supernatural creatures… Not a great start.  On the other hand, I have magic booties of carrying so I can pilfer more stuff, I have a magic set of armour and even a silver bow!  All in all not bad.  A full update to follow dears.

The Emperor, Uriel Septim, is dead. I alone have been given the task to find out where his only (illegitimate) son is, and ensure his ascendancy. So, what’s the first thing I do after receiving a medallion to give to the guy? I of course tell the guard of the Blades what I have. Surely this is a ‘d’oh‘ moment in gaming history. Why on Earth would they give a criminal this, even if the Emperor had seen him in dreams? Why do they just let me wander out with ne’er an offer of any help? Why don’t they tell me where I could find the son? Well that’s easy. Only the leader of the Blades knows that!

So, leaving the dungeon I finally get my wish. I walk to the outside. I must say, it is truly magnificent. For those of you not blessed with a lush and green countryside maybe you’ll appreciate it even more, I don’t know. I do know however that I live in the suburbs in England and so have to drive to get to the countryside. Oblivion, on that note, brings it right here to my desktop in a most beautiful way. At least it was beautiful until I was being savaged on the backside by wolves. Everyone will tell you that ‘random battles‘ are somewhat of a pet hate of mine, but given that you can see the enemy perhaps it’s not so random really. Either way, I had a rather Benny Hill like moment of charging up an incline whilst a wolf, a crab and a bandit all tried to snap at me. Why they didn’t fight amongst themselves I’ll never know. (more…)

After reading the hilarious posts of Steve Hill such as this gem, I was inspired to write about my very own adventures, which whilst not being half as amusing, sure should be an eye opener to some of you as I approach games either by the book or totally bizzarely - as evidenced here.  I probably think too much or something.  Anyway, without further ado, here’s the first of what will no doubt be many days adventuring in Oblivion.  Before you think ‘oh this place is going down the swannie (or some other bizzare colloquialism - ed) then it’ll be only a semi-regular feature, rather than a mammoth uncontrollable beast that I feature every single play session.  So here we are.

Day One in Oblivion

Hmmm, well the first part of the game requires me to make a character.  After looking at the options, I decided on a wood elf.  Unfortunately the character was a rather ugly fellow, so I had the pleasure of mucking around with his face a lot (and I mean a lot) until he looked a little bit like me.  Or perhaps Elijah Wood.  Either way, he’s much more appealing than the rather mock-human face that was frowning at me previously.  Having fixed his face, I then set up the options.  May as well have HDR etc.

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